May 2013
80 posts
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How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
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Oh, God, I can hear something scrabbling around my room but I can’t find anything because it’s all a mess from my moving process, and I just REALLY hope it’s not coming from one of the boxes I already taped up.
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thesanityclause:
Dear whoever makes movie things, make more discworld movie things. Specifically witch ones. But you could do the watch if you want. I am amenable to that.
Love, Cassidy
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Let's Talk About Libraries
gigifoundatardis:
I always forget about how much I love libraries until I walk into one.
Then suddenly, it hits me like a beautiful, inky wave: I love libraries.
I mean, let’s talk about how you can get nonfiction books, magazines, newspapers, movies, TV shows, audio books, braille books, novels, art, and CDs all form one place… FOR FREE. It literally costs NOTHING for you— or anyone!— to go...
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1950s lyrics: splishin and a-splashin, one time i was splishin and a-splashin. ooh, i was movin and a-groovin. yeah, i was splishin and a-splashin.
1960s lyrics: he hit me and it felt like a kiss. he hit me and i knew he loved me. if he didn't care for me, i could have never made him mad. but he hit me and i was glad.
1970s lyrics: my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want to play with my ding-a-ling. my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want to play with my ding-a-ling.
2012 lyrics: i'm pimpin where i'm winnin, thats just how i’m chillin. i'm smokin grits and sellin chickens, corvette painted lemons.
EVERY DECADE HAS BAD LYRICS NOW GET OVER YOURSELVES YOU INSUFFERABLE DOUCHEBAGS
jebiwonkenobi:
When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
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convolutedscience:
assiest:
double standards disgust me. when a guy sleeps with a ton of women he’s a stud but when a girl sleeps with a ton of women she’s a lesbian
That was not the way I expected that sentence to end.
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thetrolliestcritic:
I’m going to make an all black, all gay Harry Potter roleplay set in a medieval era just so you can cry more in my inbox with your fucking idiocy. Fuck sake.
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cassiesandsnark:
you know i make a lot of threats for someone who is short and cant even do a push up
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alexandraerin:
mumblingsage:
greenchestnuts:
thisisableism:
litmus-test-of-sj:
You might be an SJ if representation in media matters more than good storytelling.
You might be anti-sj if you believe representation in the media takes away from the quality of the storyline.
You might have a pretty skewed worldview if you believe that media representation and good storytelling are...
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The Fairest Discussion of All - Rebloggable by...
princelesscomic:
as much as im anticipating this comic, the recent panel of adrienne left me a bit sour. shes purposefully being ambiguous when she rants about “fair.” fair can easily mean “beautiful,” “good,” “clear-skinned,” etc. and on top of that she uses an ad hom to frame him as some chauvinist dunce when he could just mean well in saving her. i think you mistook ‘sassy’ w/ ‘smug and...
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bad-fanfiction:
His marble orbs lingered on my body for a few seconds
This sounds like part of a weird ritual or something.
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“The thing is, the only reason these characters were white in the first place was...”
– J.F Sargent, The 5 Most Insulting Defenses of Nerd Racism (via completelychalant)
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librariansoul:
teawithaview:
have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late.
Oh look it’s a horribly invasive word-picture of my morning
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notcuddles:
magicrobotgeography:
btw guys, you do know that if you’re gonna boycott abercrombie, you have to also boycott hot topic, hollister, and american eagle because they’re all owned by the same company
And nothing of value was lost
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